Dec 10, 2025

How to Start a Health Conversation with Your Mom

Starting a healthy talk with your mom can be tough, but it’s one of the most caring things you can do. Learn how to start the topic with empathy, confidence, and practical strategies that truly help.

Taryn Fernandes

CMO, MD

If you’ve noticed changes in your mom’s mental health, you just want to make sure she’s up to date on preventive care. Starting that first conversation can feel intimidating. The good news: a thoughtful, compassionate approach makes these talks easier and more effective. Below are practical steps, sample phrases, and evidence-based tips you can use right away:

Start with care, not criticism.

Start with why the conversation matters to you: her well-being and your relationship. Use “I” statements (e.g., “I’ve been a little worried about your cough”) instead of “you” statements (e.g., “You never go to the doctor”). This lowers defensiveness and signals that you’re on her side. The World Health Organization encourages checking your own emotions and motives before sharing health information, why you’re raising it, and whether what you’re sharing is accurate. That self-check helps you show up calm and supportive.

Try this:

I care about you and want us both to feel confident about your health. Would you be open to chatting for 15 minutes after dinner?

Pick the right moment.

Choose a low-stress and a private place. If in-person is hard, propose a short video call. Difficult caregiving conversations often take more than one attempt. Set realistic expectations and keep the door open, even if today isn’t the day.

Try this:

If now’s not great, could we set a time this weekend? I want to do this when we’re both unhurried.

Prepare a mini game plan.

Before you talk, jot down 2–3 priorities (e.g., booking a checkup, discussing medications, and scheduling a mammogram). Preparation helps you stay concise and focused on advice echoed by caregiver advocacy resources that recommend having notes and a short list of questions ready.

Try this:

I made a short list, so we don’t forget anything: 1) your blood pressure readings, 2) that shoulder pain, 3) whether any screenings are due.

Take Control of Your Mind

Start your mental wellness journey with a virtual consultation today.

Use motivational interviewing (MI) basics.

Motivational interviewing is a collaborative, empathy-first communication style used widely in healthcare to help people explore ambivalence and move toward change. Core skills include asking open questions, affirming strengths, reflective listening (It sounds like your worried mammograms will be painful), and summarizing. Even a light MI approach at home improves connection and autonomy your mom feels heard rather than pushed.

Try this:

Open question: What’s most important to you about staying healthy this year?
Reflect: So, convenience matters to you, and long waiting rooms are a deal-breaker.
Summarize: You want fewer trips, but you’re open to quick options if they’re easy.

Bring clear, trusted especially on preventive care

If your mom is 40–74, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) now recommends biennial mammograms starting at age 40 for women at average risk. That’s a change many people missed, so clarify it gently and offer to help schedule. Cite reputable sources (USPSTF, MedlinePlus) to keep the discussion fact-based.

For cervical cancer screening (ages 30–65), draft guidance includes the option of HPV testing every five years, with self-collected samples in a healthcare setting as an emerging pathway to expand access. If that’s relevant to your mom, mention it as a comfort-enhancing alternative she can discuss with her clinician.

Try this:

Guidelines now suggest mammograms every other year starting at 40. Want me to book one or set up a telehealth visit to ask questions first?

Make it a true partnership.

Adults, especially parents, want to keep their independence. Frame choices and invite preferences. AARP’s guidance for hard conversations focuses on preserving trust and listening for underlying concerns; your goal isn’t to win, but to collaborate.

Try this:

What would make this easier for you: an early-morning appointment, a weekend slot, or starting with a telehealth consultation?

Take Control of Your Mind

Start your mental wellness journey with a virtual consultation today.

Lower the friction with telehealth (hello, SDKare)

When logistics or nerves get in the way, telehealth removes barriers: no travel, flexible times, and shorter visits. Use a virtual appointment to:

Review symptoms or medications
Ask a provider which screenings are due.
Decide if an in-person follow-up is necessary.

Bringing a friend or family member (with your mom’s consent) can help with note-taking and questions of advice mirrored by the National Institute of Mental Health’s communication tips for medical visits.

Try this:

How about we book a 15-minute SDKare video visit and jot down answers together?

Use a simple script for tough moments

If your mom resists, get curious instead of pushing:

Acknowledge: I hear that mammograms feel scary.
Ask: What worries you, the discomfort, the results, or the time?
Offer choices: Would reading a one-page guide help? Or should we ask a doctor in a short telehealth consult?
Re-affirm autonomy: It’s your call. I’m here to help; however, you prefer.

This follows MI’s empathy-first approach and reduces the pressure that often stalls progress.

Confirm the next steps and support.

End with a small, concrete plan: book an appointment, order a home blood pressure cuff, or set a reminder. Caregiving research highlights the value of asking for help, sharing tasks, and focusing on what you can progress is better than perfection.

I’ll handle scheduling; you just tell me what time of day works. After the visit, let’s debrief for five minutes so you feel good about the plan.

Know when to escalate.

Encourage a prompt medical evaluation (virtual or in-person) if you notice red flags: chest pain, shortness of breath, sudden confusion, stroke signs, or rapidly worsening symptoms. “I hear that mammograms feel scary, and I’m also concerned about signs of depression I’ve noticed. However, NIMH guidance focuses on being honest with providers and preparing questions in advance.

Quick checklist

Pick a calm time and ask permission to talk.
Lead with I care and specific observations (not judgments)
Prepare 2–3 priorities and a few open questions.
Reflect what you hear; summarize options.
Share clear, trusted info (e.g., mammograms 40–74 every other year)
Offer low-friction choices (telehealth first, then in-person)
End with one small next step and a date to revisit

Starting a healthy conversation with your mom isn’t about being pushy about partnership. When you prepare a little, listen a lot, and lean on telehealth to make care easier, you transform a hard talk into a shared plan that protects the person you love. Ready to take the next step? Book a short video visit via SDKare and we’ll walk through your mom’s health together.